Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
