Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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