I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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