If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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