Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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