Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
