Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize