You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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