I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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