But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
