My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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