I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
