I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
