She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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