i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
