we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
