I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
