Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we're so committed to being not committed
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