there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
