you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
