My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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