im gay
i know
yea but for you.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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