I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
this is an emotional support booty call
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
