My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
