hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
