i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize