my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
