he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
