All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
