she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
