KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
