I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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