ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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