I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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