Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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