Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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