I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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