Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
