i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
do nipples grow back?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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