In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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