Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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