I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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