Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
