Its about making memories worth repressing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
