You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
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i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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