I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
