i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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