I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
