Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
