using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
