plz talk dirty to me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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