I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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