We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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