I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Boobs are out for the taking
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
