dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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