I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize