Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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