we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
