I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
