On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize