I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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