Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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