I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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