But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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