If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
