our cab driver is having phone sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm at about main and main street
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
